We never back up what we say..

You can't count on anyone but yourself sometimes..

=Jimmy

I Remember..

..When I was a total shy non social person. And now. complete turnaround for serious. Im now loud and vocal and I speak my mind and I fight for good things and shit. But I think back to when I was the kid who kept my head down and like..didnt talk to people cause of poor self esteem. Its incredible the changes you go through.

Im excited for tomorrow.




Anywho. I got bored tonight while watching osme stupid new game show. It was honestly the most ridiculous show ever. Are you smarter than a 5th grader. I would hope so. What is a trapezoid ? are you kidding me. waste of money and time. eh..

I want to go to an awesome concert. Im ready for something. anything. Nothing wil ltop incubus. but theres still so many options for concerts. whatever. im saying wahetevr a lot. maybe not on here so much. but in my head thinking about things.

-Jimmy

My biggest fear is myself . .

I wish my family was more supportive. The amount of support, or lack thereof, is astounding. For everything. This is mainly got me thinking because of their view and opinion on me leaving next year. But it isn't just held to that alone. Its everything. I could tell them I was going to do something that would benefit them in someway. I dont know how. or what. But I would probably get a funny look and some smart ass question like "why?". something as plain and ordinary as the question why can have the biggest impact on me. I've sat and told my mom about a project I was going to start or was working on or I tell her about what I feel strongly towards and fight for. And al lI get is a disinterested look or reply. My dad is no different. And at the same time is entirly different. In the sense..I cant even tell him things, because he probably wont even listen. He was the one who brought up college. Yes, I want to get away and I want to get away to the city. And I want to get away to Columbia. the onyl school I applied to. the only school I want to go to. And yes it is more expensive than the rest. his question at me to my mom that she relayed to me. "what does he want to get out of going there?" I cant make it sound as unsupportive as it did when my mom told me. but wow. I couldn't believe it. I want to leave more than ever.

Sometimes I think that if i want to hear the music I am in the mood for at..whenever. I have to make it myself. I should look more into this concept. Cause right now what i want that I dont have is something slow. mellow. ambient. but with lyrics. I have lots of music that is any combination of things to that nature but theyre a;; instrumental or in a different language. I have to make myself happy it seems.

there ar other tihngs on my mind. including but not limited to the following. Photography, relationships, elgin, a job, books, passion. I dont know..everything always seems to just squish together. so im pretty much fucked cause i think too much.

-Jimmy

I Wish I Had A Time Machine..

I sit here..
Sipping some tea..
It is delicious..
I wonder if tea ever goes bad..
Cause I think this tea was fairly old..
But it was cinnamon flavored and it was amazing..
Which leads me to believe it doesn't..?
Or maybe it does and I'm jsut stupid..

So I jsut finished filling out my Invisible Children Displace Me application. I wrote a novel. No I didn't but i filled up the entire page on 6 realyl general questions. It was funny but thats how i feel about it. Passion makes you do some crazy stuff. And thats how I feel about this. About Invisible Children. About Uganda. about Africa. Passionatly.

"You have to be optimistic when you want to change the world"
Best thing / quote I've ever thought of.

God this tea Is Good..

I cannot wait for Displace Me. I know this is going to be a very reoccuring Idea on this blog site. But It is honestly the ONLY thing I can think about. and about Invisible children coming again. And spreading awareness to EVERYONE. and this application I just filled out. Its jsut all really overwhelming. Its amazing.

I realyl think I'm starting to come around to who I am as a person. Im growing up. Yeah I love being immature. Thats a different situation. I mean growing up. Having good moral values and knowing where I stand and what I stand for. Its a really rewarding thought. God I hope I can Help out with Displace Me in Chicago. If not I'll for sure be doing something involved with the ECC group that we'll have going. Thats a big responsibility. I was saying how I just ant to be in charge of soing something important for it haha.

I'm going to start makigng flyers for a couple different things. Invisible children related of course.

One for Displace Me.
One For peace and justice group.
One for Invisible children screening when they come back on April 16th or around then.
I'm also thinking about going outside and getting the community aware of al lthis stuff. the schools aroun my house. Im going to put out things at my work. Anythin I can do helps right.

I took pictures today. Some were alright.




I dont know. I've felt as if I've been out of touch lately with my camera. Maybe because I dont have very many projects for clases yet and then I'm pretty lazy too. Again going hand in hand with the no motivation anymore..being here at least. I cant wait to leave.

-Jimmy.

This Fires Burning Liars

I need tofind a good mental place if I want to have any hope of finishing this semester of ECC. No Motivation whatsoever. But I am finally goingto start accomplishing things academics wise. I jus need to attain a good mental foothold or possibly be inspired in some way or form. That would be nice. Invisible children inspires me. but not in a way I can figure out wha tto do with yet. I am so passionate about that. And photography. But I havent been doing much about either. Picture taing has taken a break because I dont even know why. Idont have projects to do. I want a set of studio lights more than anyhting right now. Until i get them i dont know what Im going to do. More landscapes. I want to start photographing people and bands and getting into that. I want to know how I can get into photographing bands. I read about people my age doing it and it interests me. I love music. I love photographs. Digital prints. Why not combine the 3. I want to do that. It would be incredible..

Im in class right now. Why am I on here. Class hasnt actually started whatever.

-jimmy

Displace Me.

The Invisible Children people came to ECC today. It was awesome desppite the not so amazing turnout we had hoped for. But it was still really really good. And I wasn't sure it had had the impact on some of the people who saw it for the first time today as it did on me when i first saw it until, after the screening, on the way back from the bathroom I heard two older ladies talking about how incredibley ridiculous it was that it was going on. It made me smile It gave me hope. A hope that We, the 3 genocide members, have a chance to make this problem known to everyone. From ECC to wherever no matter who or wha tgroup of people we inform. Every little thing matters. I still feel amazing when I can tlak about it and people who dont know ask me for an explanation and I tell them and it really seems like they walk awayfrom me with a snese of intrigue and interest. Like they really might go and read up and inform themselves more about the issue. Its amazing. Its rewarding in a sense.

But like I said, Invisible Children people came and screened the movie and gave out information on ways to help. And afterwards, now, all Ive been able to think about is 1. how much I want to help out. Donating. Taking Donations. Informing people. and the other thin I've been thinking about is how much I wish I could be one of those people who travels around the country informing schools and groups. Its jsut somethin that would be an amazing amazing thing. Mentally and morally rewarding to the fullest extent. I would give anything for that.

At the end of the screening they talked about an event called DISPLACE ME.
Last year there was an event in April called the GLOBAL COMMUTE. It was a plea for people from all over the country to come out and support the desire to make the terror in uganda more of a known affair. Over 80 thousand people in 100 plus something cities i think made it out for the commute. It wasa huge thing and they wrote letters to their senators and the president and soon after the house upped the children soldiar issue as far as priority. Not by much but jusenough.
This year, aespecially after the hurricane katrina episode, They are asking for something of the same style of support. DISPLACE ME is an event aimed at showing people what its like to be without a home and living with almost nothing. Its on APRIL 28TH this year. And To say I was excited for it Would be an understatement. I would have done the global night commute last year if i had known about it. so now Im making up for it by going to this. And Im asking anyone who cares the littlest amount to join me in supporting Invisible children and the dreams of thousands of people all around the world. I really cant wait.

There was also this schools for schools thing that the genocide commity is doing for sure and then branching into the peace and justice group or something. its gonna be awesome.

I really want to draw..I do tnknwo why or what. but i want to..i realyl want to get my tattoo. but since i have NO money whatsoever. it sucks. shit.

Im sick of ECC i want to leave. I dont mean to coem off as bitchy. but I dont like going here anymore.

-Jimmy

St. Valentines Day..

A lot of people forget what happend abotu 80 years ago today. A bunch of mobsters went on a rampage of killing on each other. but lets celebrate by buying a lot of cute shit and spoiling people. We've compensated.


I was bored tonight jsut now an ddid some things. My Valentines day has been anti-climactic. for sure.


I filled Out my application for room and board at Columbia college chicago. Im realyl realyl excited. Like its almsot a surreal feeling that it might actually realyl happen. Just incredible.

I kinda miss this one girl. Its sad :[

-jimmy.