Dreamz

So I don't post on this alot.just..cause I don't. I don't see it as a big deal..No one reads it anyways.

But I thought the dream I had last night was worth posting..because it was incredible..like one of the weirdest most vivid real insane dreams I've ever had.

It started out as follows..I was with a group of people..each one doesn't have a face or maybe they do but I couldn't recognize any of them. And we're walking and its in this very European-Esq setting. And were coming to this village and it honestly looks like a mix between like Rome and London. And we're walking and we see..Tank Johnson, of the Bears. And everyone automatically knows, hes the field goal kicker for the Bears. which is obviously wrong ha ha. So we're all egging him on to kick a field goal to this one building. It looks like the Colosseum. And we want him to because if he gets it up over or onto the roof, the building will explode and that's where the "bad-guys" are. So were cheering and we watch him kick one football. and then he says something and I laugh as we're pushed through a garage looking opening, to the other side where we are like closer to the building. And then here comes the ball that he kicked. And it looks like its gonna happen and were all anxious and waiting in anticipation and it seems like its going to happen but then, BAM, it drops off and falls short..into the water that has now taken over as the ground around the building.

So we were all upset..but we keep going. And somehow we all end up breaking apart and going separate ways..like instantly. you know how in dreams its like one thing to another very quickly very smooth transition. So there I am in this very London / Rome- Esq town..and all of a sudden a man comes up and starts asking me if i want to ride his jet. And I'm like "jet? what are you talking about.." and then here comes this mobile of some sort..it looks like a mix of a jet ski and like a plane with its wings cut short. And there are handles on the fronts. and you dont like sit on ti yo uput your feet on bars and your hands on handlebars and your in like a horizontal crouch position. so than another transition and Im like on a rooftop watching three guys jet around..but only ones riding it..and the other two are holding it by the handle bars and they're throwing it into windows and buildings. with this man saying "this is your job now.." And they keep just throwing this jet and the guy riding it into Windows and stuff and then he turns around really quickly and jets back out..cause its like a hover craft type thing.

So smooth transition back..and Im riding this bike. And Im just hovering around. Not crashing through things and these guys are now chasing me..and Im like "wtf !?" and so im jetting around. on top of buildings and through alleys and everywhere and these guys I just CANNOT lose them, Its like they're able to jump as high as they want or as far and run as fast as they want..So then Im on top of this building. Looking over the town. alone. And I have to mention how realistic it was. Like everything was so clear. and the moon was huge and it was lighting up the town. And i have a picture..
This one.



And that's the best example of the clarity of this town.





And so i also remember looking out towards the ocean or lake or whatever it was..and it was so clear too. not like see through but very very dark and contrasty. like i could see each ripple. and it was moving in a weird way..like if you were to go over it something some weird scary creature would jump out and you'd die. and that was it.

So then chane again..and my hover jet thing has turned into a miniature car..but its like the same as it was with wheels and a roof. and im being chased by police now..and im like crashing into cars and walls and people and nothing is happening to the vehicle. So then I crash into a cop car. and I like handbrake turn around a corner and handbrake turn into a garage this man in all black sitting on a bicycle is pointing into. And I park it..and Im like "thanks.." and I run away..and the dream stays on this man..and the door of this garage thing is shutting but like a chord is sitting out..and I tried to move it but I halfassed it. and he like..flips this chord in right before the door shuts.. and the cops pass and then the dream fades out.. then I woke up..

So thats it..It was pretty sweet. words never do dreams justice..but I tried..

- Ji m my

Where Do We Go From Here ?

Long Weekend..
Alright weekend.

I don't have anything to say right now. Or at least..I'm too lazy to type. Theres always something on my mind. Exhaustion overtakes my thoughts for now.






-J i m m y

A Reason to move foreward.

Change.
Hope.
Passion.

I think these make up for not posting pictures in a little while.

-J i m m y

pffft

I want to sell all my personal belongings so they mak eother people happier than they're making me. I look at these things I have and I use words like "want" and "need". Its all bullshit. I think of the people everwhere, who have absolutly nothing. And I feel like a monster. I dont use half the things I own. Im giving them away.

I want to live on the streets. see what its like. would it ever happen ? no. but imagine being put into the position of having to find a new place to sleep every night. a nice warm bed with pillows and blankets is not an option. Imagine having little or no money. no food. water. cleanliness is gone. Along with your dreams and ambitions. because you've got more to worry about now. Its crazy. trying to imagine. you cant. you cant fathome. To lose everything. It would never happen to you. so why should you care ? Ignorance is bliss.

I wish I was a bird. I want to be a bird and have no worries, problems, or conflicts. No drama. Im a bird. I dont need ambition or hope either. Completely free of all the constraints of the world. Burdened by nothing but the idea of being a weightless thought in the clouds. Flying above hate, neglect, and ignorance. Free.

Its funny to think how unstable a thing like hope can be. Its there. or its not. you keep it alive. or watch it die. Constant ups and downs. changes. good and bad. Its like taking a chance. But its a huge chance. because in the end Hope is just a word. until you make it something more. But only a word til then.

Im tired.

no more talking.

Change will come.

Its a matter of being patient.

I dont know my future.

I love not knowing.

-Jimmy

I realzied..

Most of my "good" friends. are all talk. and make me want to punch babies.

Thats how annoyed I am right NOW. Enough to punch innocent infants. yeah..fuck it.

There are bigger things happening here.



-Jimmy

Trust

I've been thinking of about this idea and how we put it into complete strangers.
Right now Im dog/house-sitting for our neighbor. Its not much i go and let his dog out. thats it. But it made me think about how we sometimes have no choice but to put our trust in almost complete strangers and / or people we hardly, barely know. Everyone does it. We are force dtp pu our trust in complete strangers. When we drive we are forced to put our trust in every other person driving around and towards and away from you. We put our trust in them that they wont screw up and kill us on the road. WE put our trust into the people cooking our food. making our drinks. We trust cooks, lawyers, bankers, attorneys, credit card companies. people who if they mess up it could effect us greatly.
we hav eno choice. With this idea and the thought of how I myself am watchign a house. An entire house. It made me think of how my neighbor is basically giving me the option of either keeping his tust, or screwing it up. So I started thinking about all the things in his house. how everything there is completely personal and its in his house and not on his front lawn for a reason. And how I could, if i wanted to, go into and through every single thing he owns, keeps, reads, and watches.

When does personal information and personal objects with a personal value become public.

from private to public.

so heres a picture one of the 5 or 6, i havent decided that im printing.



"Im not supposed to be here."

All these personal family heirlooms and pictures on teh walls and around. This isnt my house.

-Jimmy

I Think I need a Girlfriend.

Or something

that will make me

feel better

about life.

some form or sort of something that makes me happy. Or happier I guess. I love life. I love it right now its great I enjoy what Ive been doing and I love who Im becoming as a person. But something is lacking. some part of me is incomplete. I mean in al lhonesty I always feel Ill be incomplete I dont think anyone could ever be all the way whole 100 % because then what else do you have to live for ? SO theres that but I mean that there is lacking in that area. In the love area.

"love".

Ive come to be afraid of such a word. Too many times have I though that "love" was ther and too many times have I been let down and heartbroken and destroyed mentally, as it affects eevrything else in my life. We live these life cycles and mine seems to always be going in one direction only. When im hapyp and things are going good everythings going good. But when Im down everythings shit. Its all downhill and this makesit harder to pick myself up and dig myself out. I make myself sound mental. Im not. I guess Im just..confused..

fuck it.
Confusion.

screw it.
its not worth being confused.
I am confused though.

As to where Im heading.
What am I doing?
Am i good enough to live out this dream-lief I so desire. A perfectionist at heart with this seemingly perfect imperfect lifestyle and idea of a future. How far does one go until they realize when to stop. give up. defeat themselves.

all the way?

I will not give up.
I will not give up.

Anyone can do anything they want if they have strong enough desire and want.

Hope.
Is it real ?

Make it real.
If you cant prove it to everyone else. prove it to yourself.

I sound drugged up. Im not. Weird mood. weird..



This is hope.
This is excitement.
This is a reason not to give up.

-Jimmy