I Think I need a Girlfriend.

Or something

that will make me

feel better

about life.

some form or sort of something that makes me happy. Or happier I guess. I love life. I love it right now its great I enjoy what Ive been doing and I love who Im becoming as a person. But something is lacking. some part of me is incomplete. I mean in al lhonesty I always feel Ill be incomplete I dont think anyone could ever be all the way whole 100 % because then what else do you have to live for ? SO theres that but I mean that there is lacking in that area. In the love area.

"love".

Ive come to be afraid of such a word. Too many times have I though that "love" was ther and too many times have I been let down and heartbroken and destroyed mentally, as it affects eevrything else in my life. We live these life cycles and mine seems to always be going in one direction only. When im hapyp and things are going good everythings going good. But when Im down everythings shit. Its all downhill and this makesit harder to pick myself up and dig myself out. I make myself sound mental. Im not. I guess Im just..confused..

fuck it.
Confusion.

screw it.
its not worth being confused.
I am confused though.

As to where Im heading.
What am I doing?
Am i good enough to live out this dream-lief I so desire. A perfectionist at heart with this seemingly perfect imperfect lifestyle and idea of a future. How far does one go until they realize when to stop. give up. defeat themselves.

all the way?

I will not give up.
I will not give up.

Anyone can do anything they want if they have strong enough desire and want.

Hope.
Is it real ?

Make it real.
If you cant prove it to everyone else. prove it to yourself.

I sound drugged up. Im not. Weird mood. weird..



This is hope.
This is excitement.
This is a reason not to give up.

-Jimmy