A Reason to move foreward.

Change.
Hope.
Passion.

I think these make up for not posting pictures in a little while.

-J i m m y

pffft

I want to sell all my personal belongings so they mak eother people happier than they're making me. I look at these things I have and I use words like "want" and "need". Its all bullshit. I think of the people everwhere, who have absolutly nothing. And I feel like a monster. I dont use half the things I own. Im giving them away.

I want to live on the streets. see what its like. would it ever happen ? no. but imagine being put into the position of having to find a new place to sleep every night. a nice warm bed with pillows and blankets is not an option. Imagine having little or no money. no food. water. cleanliness is gone. Along with your dreams and ambitions. because you've got more to worry about now. Its crazy. trying to imagine. you cant. you cant fathome. To lose everything. It would never happen to you. so why should you care ? Ignorance is bliss.

I wish I was a bird. I want to be a bird and have no worries, problems, or conflicts. No drama. Im a bird. I dont need ambition or hope either. Completely free of all the constraints of the world. Burdened by nothing but the idea of being a weightless thought in the clouds. Flying above hate, neglect, and ignorance. Free.

Its funny to think how unstable a thing like hope can be. Its there. or its not. you keep it alive. or watch it die. Constant ups and downs. changes. good and bad. Its like taking a chance. But its a huge chance. because in the end Hope is just a word. until you make it something more. But only a word til then.

Im tired.

no more talking.

Change will come.

Its a matter of being patient.

I dont know my future.

I love not knowing.

-Jimmy

I realzied..

Most of my "good" friends. are all talk. and make me want to punch babies.

Thats how annoyed I am right NOW. Enough to punch innocent infants. yeah..fuck it.

There are bigger things happening here.



-Jimmy

Trust

I've been thinking of about this idea and how we put it into complete strangers.
Right now Im dog/house-sitting for our neighbor. Its not much i go and let his dog out. thats it. But it made me think about how we sometimes have no choice but to put our trust in almost complete strangers and / or people we hardly, barely know. Everyone does it. We are force dtp pu our trust in complete strangers. When we drive we are forced to put our trust in every other person driving around and towards and away from you. We put our trust in them that they wont screw up and kill us on the road. WE put our trust into the people cooking our food. making our drinks. We trust cooks, lawyers, bankers, attorneys, credit card companies. people who if they mess up it could effect us greatly.
we hav eno choice. With this idea and the thought of how I myself am watchign a house. An entire house. It made me think of how my neighbor is basically giving me the option of either keeping his tust, or screwing it up. So I started thinking about all the things in his house. how everything there is completely personal and its in his house and not on his front lawn for a reason. And how I could, if i wanted to, go into and through every single thing he owns, keeps, reads, and watches.

When does personal information and personal objects with a personal value become public.

from private to public.

so heres a picture one of the 5 or 6, i havent decided that im printing.



"Im not supposed to be here."

All these personal family heirlooms and pictures on teh walls and around. This isnt my house.

-Jimmy

I Think I need a Girlfriend.

Or something

that will make me

feel better

about life.

some form or sort of something that makes me happy. Or happier I guess. I love life. I love it right now its great I enjoy what Ive been doing and I love who Im becoming as a person. But something is lacking. some part of me is incomplete. I mean in al lhonesty I always feel Ill be incomplete I dont think anyone could ever be all the way whole 100 % because then what else do you have to live for ? SO theres that but I mean that there is lacking in that area. In the love area.

"love".

Ive come to be afraid of such a word. Too many times have I though that "love" was ther and too many times have I been let down and heartbroken and destroyed mentally, as it affects eevrything else in my life. We live these life cycles and mine seems to always be going in one direction only. When im hapyp and things are going good everythings going good. But when Im down everythings shit. Its all downhill and this makesit harder to pick myself up and dig myself out. I make myself sound mental. Im not. I guess Im just..confused..

fuck it.
Confusion.

screw it.
its not worth being confused.
I am confused though.

As to where Im heading.
What am I doing?
Am i good enough to live out this dream-lief I so desire. A perfectionist at heart with this seemingly perfect imperfect lifestyle and idea of a future. How far does one go until they realize when to stop. give up. defeat themselves.

all the way?

I will not give up.
I will not give up.

Anyone can do anything they want if they have strong enough desire and want.

Hope.
Is it real ?

Make it real.
If you cant prove it to everyone else. prove it to yourself.

I sound drugged up. Im not. Weird mood. weird..



This is hope.
This is excitement.
This is a reason not to give up.

-Jimmy

Ongoing Horrible

Adam showed me and sarah this.
I think sarah already knew of it.
Its so good.



I quit my stupid job today.

-Jimmy

Somewhere..Ill probably pass out.

My latest and..yeah.

ive discovered the super furry animals. and maps and atlases.
its love.

0Jimmy

hmmmm..

SO many people are so quick to jump to conclusions and state an opinion about something. Its sickening though sometimes. This is true. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Yes awesome. I can relate to that statement and live through and by it. I realize this truth. I also realize that some things you hear are not always going to be something you agree with. Another side effect of opinions. But theres a difference between hearing someones opinion as well as understanbding it and someone elses opinion being forced upon you. Someones stating an opinion and then trying to make you think that they are right and you are wrong. I get this the most from my parents. and when i say parents I mean my dad. Nothing is good enough for him. Everything I do, every choice Ive made in the last, i dont know 3 years, is not good enough for him and he holds these negative feelings and biasts towards me and what I do. Unsupportive and pessimistic are two great ways to describe him. He is the reason I want to leave here. He is also the reason I become so entangled in thought and debate with myself. His words, rare but always harsh and negative, are what make me wonder if I will ever become anything. It is because of him I am here and ironically he is the same reason I want so badly to leave.

I am branching off.
I am growing.

My father. Society's offspring. He is a product like all of society and he is a storage unit for the stereotypical views and cliche demands of society as a whole. We are given these rights. These privelages and abilities to ues our voice and state what we think or feel freely. But right after we opinionize we are struck down. We are told we are wrong and we are looked down upon as an outcast. and society makes it seem as though we deserve nothing and condescends our very being, our way of living, until eventually we are right back where we started. Unopinionated.
A tool.
A machine.
We are given this ability, this right, to state how we feel. and when we think differently than everyone else we are looked down upon.
Our ability of freedom in the form of personal statement is taken away from us before we can even use it.

Screw society. Screw anyone who doubts your abilities to perform or think. I dont mean to sound cliche' but Fuck conformity. Where does it get anyone. Thinking like the next average joe. I am sick of being told I can do something if it makes me happy and then when I do it, and it does make me happy, and then being told I am wrong for doing it, for following through. Reason and passion. That is all that should matter.

It never will.
We are all talk.

For as much as I love having views and opinions, I miss when I didnt have AS many. When I had nothing to worry about and I didnt think until I thought my head might explode.





I wish I was a bird.
-Jimmy

Itll take some time.

"Her eyes swelled up in the bars soft lights. I drank and watched her laugh and then we sang loud in the dying streets and i was so drunk my heart floated like a feather in the breeze i got so high off all the blinking lights the color painted in the night."

-Chris McCaughan.

Amazing man. amazing song.

Ive been tihnking a lot lately. andworrying..but then realizing Im not even sure what Im confused about. I hate this.

Where am I going ?
When Will I get there ?

-Jimmy

We'll shine..

Shine..

Shine..





...





That is all eh..-Jimmy